Whoop Hair It Is
August 23, 2017
A HAIR RAISING STORY
I have a running list of things I wish I was good at.
Singing, long division, reading the directions, having any desire to read the directions… Doing my own hair is also very high up on the list.
I currently have three styles – blown dry, slept in a wet braid, and “Mommy your ponytail messy.” Thanks, Jack.
You Had to Be T(Hair)
There are lots of reasons why this is one of my sought after skills. Not the least of which is my list of potential hair salon names for when I got so good at doing my own hair that other people would pay me to do their hair.
Whoop Hair It Is
Tortoise and the Hair
Neither Hair Nor There
A Dark Alley
Although I could use that last one now. “Geesh, where did you get your hair cut? A dark alley?” “Yes.”
On the drive to my parents’ house there is a hair salon with a dynamite name that makes Glen and I laugh every time we drive by. Curl Up and Dye. I love those people oh so very much.
Not a Hair In It’s Place
The other reasons why I would enjoy this skill include but are not limited to: vanity, jealousy, the wish that my hair could look good for multiple days in a row without washing it, the desire to fit in at bachelorette parties, the fact that Glen almost divorces me twice a year because there is so much hair all over our house, and fiscal responsibility.
Yet I’m always thwarted by the reason that thwarts many other good intentions. Laziness.
As I write this my hair is wet and I know darn well that if I don’t blow dry it soon it will be in a “Oh, honey, did the kids not sleep well for you last night?” state for the next two days and I won’t be able to fix it. But here I sit, typing away as Glen does yard work in the dark of night while I’m inside “watching the baby monitor.” Is it too late to change the name of this blog to An Ongoing Apology to My Husband?
While we are in this deep, meaningful conversation about hair can another mother out there tell me when I can expect postpartum hair loss to stop? Before or after Norah’s high school graduation? A ballpark is fine.
It’s gotten so bad that I got genuinely excited to see anti shedding shampoo in my sister-in-law’s bathroom until I realized it was for their dogs, and then I honestly almost used it anyway. I’ve come across a couple articles about dealing with postpartum hair loss and the suggestion on one of them was “stay stress free” and there was a picture of a woman dancing in a field… That joke just made itself…
I’ll Be T(Hair) For You
I feel slightly better about my hair being a hot mess disaster right now because I’m growing it back out to donate again.
I had #longhairdontcare for my whole life. Except for the time I cut my own hair when I was three in an effort to be helpful. But after my miscarriages I really felt like I needed to get out of my own head and do something for someone else. So I cut my hair way off and donated it through the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program.
Considering donating your hair? I highly recommend it. My plan is to donate Pantene again since Locks for Love seems to be more well known. Both are wonderful though.
As usual this turned into a “stream of consciousness email to my best friend” style post. So thanks for reading, #bff. I hope you’re having a killer hair day. Call me.
With 99 problems and my hair is 7,