If we learned anything from Glee, it’s that a well done musical mashup can make you laugh, make you cry, and earn you a trip to Nationals even if your dance moves are just okay.
It’s in this spirit of entertainment that I bring to you my lyrical mashups for parents.
I know it specifies “Mommy” in the title, but that’s just because I appreciate alliteration and Fatherly Fusions lost the coin toss. Laugh along with some familiar song lyrics that epitomize parenthood.
Editor’s Note: These work better if you sing them. Preferably loudly, and in public. Don’t be embarrassed, you have a beautiful singing voice.
Re: When your toddler is in the other room playing quietly by himself for a while.
This is the sound of silence
Got a real good feeling something bad about to happen
Oh something bad
Re: Trying super awkwardly to make mom friends.
All by myself
Don’t want to be
All by myself
Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
Here’s my number, so call me maybe
The Proclaimers and U2
Re: Searching your house for the yellow teddy bear, not the brown teddy bear.
I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
Re: When the baby is antagonizing her brother by stealing food off his plate and you don’t want to encourage her further so you try to keep a straight face and not laugh.
My my my my my poker face
Got me looking so crazy right now
Re: When you tell your toddler it’s time for bed and he continues to repeat “in two minutes” over the next 20 minutes
I told you once, now I told you twice
Quit playin’ games with my heart
Clean Bandit and Sam Hunt
Re: When both kids really needs to take naps but are boycotting their cribs so you get in the car as a last ditch effort and they finally nod off and you need to keep the car moving or you will lose your ever loving mind.
So, rockabye baby, rockabye
I’m gonna rock you
Rockabye baby, don’t you cry
15 in a 30 I ain’t in no hurry
I’m going take it slow just as fast as I can
Re: Walking through a grocery store parking lot on a Sunday afternoon with your kids when there is supposed to be a big snow storm tomorrow and everyone in a 30 mile radius MUST GET MILK.
Oh baby baby it’s a wild world
Want you to hold my hand
(Hold my hand)
Journey and Taylor Swift
Re: For encouraging your 1 year old to keep trying when learning to walk is hard. Because you know what, learning to walk IS hard.
Don’t stop believing!
Shake it off, shake it off
Re: When dinner is a lovely, healthy, slaved over table of goodness and the toddler just wants dinosaur chicken nuggets and a popsicle.
Now it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need
Re: Because at the end of the day, those little humans are your world.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
Cause you’re amazing, just the way you are
With the rhythm of my heart beating like a drum*,